When Boundaries are Broken
Anger Kicks in to Action
Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and then expecting the other person to die ~ Buddha
On a fundamental level, anger is an adaptive and healthy emotion whose primary functions are to defend ourselves when attacked and protect us from getting hurt. It is a powerful emotion that motivates us into action.
It is also the key emotion behind boundary setting in our relationships. Ignoring or avoiding anger hinders us from doing what is necessary to prevent someone (or something) from hurting us in the same fashion repeatedly.
In other words, the soft form of anger is not only healthy, it is necessary.
Where anger can get problematic in our relationships is in certain scenarios, namely:
- When we get caught in a bottle-and-blow pattern and anger that has been suppressed (whether knowingly or not) accumulates and results in a big expression that ends up hurting others around us
- When anger is acted upon without appropriate acknowledgment of the pain experienced – without that connection, the explosive expression of anger only serves to push people away
- When anger based on old, unresolved issues from the past is triggered and interferes with our present experience – this can result in holding the wrong people responsible for the pain we have experienced
- When anger is used to control others and ends up preventing people from getting truly close to us – this does the job in pain prevention, but it also prevents people from getting close enough to us for us to experience true joy in our intimate relationships
Benefits of Psychotherapy & Hypnosis
Through the process of therapy, you can take time to either get in touch with anger that you may have been ignoring or avoiding for your long-term emotional health or you can explore the origins of your anger and take appropriate actions with what is brought into your awareness. This is the essence of change – as your awareness increases, so too do the options you have at your disposal.
Key benefits that you can gain in the process of psychotherapy can include the following:
- Increased awareness of unhealthy patterns involving anger, and giving you opportunity to make shifts towards healthier patterns in your life
- If old, unresolved issues are identified, you can work to separating the past from the present, take time to heal from past wounds, and take appropriate steps to prevent yourself from getting hurt again
- Improved relationships with people you care about as your expressions of anger become more controlled, and important aspects of yourself be
At Positive help Therapy I use psychotherapy to help you better understand your anger, and using hypnosis I can help you deal with it at a deeper level so that you can live with more freedom and calm.
I am always open about my thought process and the approaches I use because I consider the work to be collaboration.
Here are some of the issues I work with:
- Emerging from depression
- Becoming less anxious, more relaxed, more confident
- Healing traumatic memories that may be inhibiting or upsetting you in the present
- Improving your relationship with yourself
- Improving your relationship with others
- Taming a harsh inner critic
- Mastering panic attacks
- Overcoming phobias
- Grieving in a healthy way
- And many other issues as well
Regardless of the issues, my overall goal is to provide a place that is welcoming and confidential where you can engage with a skilled psychotherapist to create positive changes in your life.
My Unique Approaches
I don’t confine myself to any single theoretical orientation. I utilize a variety of approaches always favouring brief solution focused (BSF) methods
My practice is influenced by Positive psychology, Human Givens psychology, Internal Family Systems, Focusing, Emotional Intelligence, Positive NeuroPlasticity Therapies and Hypnosis.
It's All About You
I may have a favorite theory or therapeutic technique that I tend to use more often or fall back on, but I am always willing to and often use all that are available to me.
After all, the key here is to help you as quickly and as effectively as possible ~ Not to pigeon-hole you into some set way of looking at all people, whether it works for you or not.
Contact me if you could benefit from a therapist who will work with you to find the solutions that YOU want, efficiently and effectively.